She’s Cpl. Lisa Gardner, United States Marine Corps in Afghanistan and she negotiates the restoration of a civil society in a war zone.

An excerpt from today’s must-read New York Times story on the work of women Marines in Afghanistan.

Sgt. Jeremy Latimer, 24, a platoon leader in Company F of the Second Battalion, Second Marine Regiment, who is based at Patrol Base Amir, an outpost in central Helmand. “I didn’t like taking anybody who wasn’t infantry. Basically, I was worried about getting shot at with [women]  Marines. I didn’t want to leave them behind.”

But he changed his mind after he took two of the women into a village elder’s home so they could smooth the way for a male medical officer to treat the Afghan’s ailing wife and daughters — again, from the other side of a wall. Sergeant Latimer said the favor was important, because the elder had become an informant about the Taliban. The sergeant said he could hear through the wall that the female Marines and the elder’s wife and daughters, who turned out to be only moderately ill, got along.

“It was a normal, girls-just-hanging-out type of conversation, giggling and everything,” he said.

Since then, Sergeant Latimer said, Afghans have been more receptive when his patrols included the female Marines, who hand out stuffed animals to village children. When male Marines try that, he said, “It’s just a bunch of guys with rockets and machine guns trying to hand out a bear to a kid, and he starts to cry.”

But what do all the visits and talk add up to? Master Sgt. Julia Watson, who helped create an earlier version of the female engagement teams in Iraq and has been working in Helmand, said that the women had to move beyond handing out teddy bears and medicine and use what they learn from Afghan women to develop plans for income-generating projects, schools and clinics. “You have to have an end state,” she said.

The full article is here.

A special thanks this Memorial Day Weekend to our brave and resourceful women in uniform!

I’ll be speaking on Harnassing Social Networks to Build a Mediation Practice at 8:00 a.m. and I promise it will WAKE YOU UP!!

Click on program for the link to the SCMA Website’s description of the program and sign-up sheet.

What You Need To Know To Succeed At Mediating Employment Cases
Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Portofino Hotel and Yacht Club
Redondo Beach, CA

This program begins at 8:00 am with Registration and Continental Breakfast at 7:45 and ends at 5:00 pm. Registrants will enjoy a buffet luncheon and cocktail reception afterward.

Who should attend this conference?
*Mediators interested in employment/workplace dispute resolution
*Attorneys practicing in Employment Law interested in achieving better results in mediation
*Human Resource Professionals interested in remaining current on legal issues, administrative procedures and in preparing for the mediation of employment disputes
*Students interested in pursuing mediation.

Though unpublished, the new Second District Court of Appeal opinion in Karim v. City of Pomona serves as a reminder

Section 877 provides that when a plaintiff settles with one or more persons liable for a tort, the trial court shall reduce the claims against the others by the greater of the amount stipulated in the release or in the amount of consideration paid. The question is whether the statute requires a court to give a public entity an offset in an inverse condemnation action. We think not. The statute only applies to torts, and inverse condemnation is not a tort. (Patrick Media Group, Inc. v. California Coastal Com. (1992) 9 Cal.App.4th 592, 604 [inverse condemnation not grounded in tort principles]; Holtz v. San Francisco Bay Area Rapid Transit Dist. (1976) 17 Cal.3d 648, 656, fn. 8 ["We have consistently rejected the contention that the right to recover in eminent domain derives from tort doctrine, emphasizing that as a matter of policy the owner of property taken or damaged for public use should not contribute a disproportionate share of the cost of a public undertaking"].)

Clients don’t know how hard we work on their behalves.  It’s all Wizard of Oz to them, the guy behind the curtain operating the gears and levers of the legal system, making it all look more frightening and mysterious than it has any right to be.   And this isn’t the view of opposing counsel.  This is about someone’s  own attorney.

I’ve seen people in community mediation who come to church basements to resolve their difficulties without their attorneys after their mutual disdain for both sides’ lawyers causes them to seek out the best advice they can get – that which they can generate themselves with a third party helping them set aside rancor for the purpose of working things out consensually. See e.g., When Attorneys Become the Common Enemy.

So I give you Eight Things a Divorce Attorney Doesn’t Want You to Know (brought to my attention by google alert because “settle it now” appears in the text).  The solution?  Keep your clients aware of what you’re doing for them while you’re doing it so that the first mention they get about your work is not the .10 or .80 contained in your bill.  Use the telephone to update them rather than email (you can confirm in email or a letter if you want a written record).  Email is “profoundly anti-social” and creates more conflict problems than it can solve.

If your work in any given month hasn’t produced results the client can see, tell your client what your strategy is and how the work you’ve done has advanced the ball.  Don’t blame opposing counsel or the Judge for failures.  Be accountable and be ready to tell your client how you’re going to serve his/her/its interests despite the difficulties raised by the conduct of opposing counsel or an inattentive Judge.  That’s what your client has paid you to do – advance the ball and, if possible, to sink it, despite the presence of a good defense.

If you just have a music CD collection to divvy up when you divorce, you can do a do-it-yourself divorce.

When you have kids, a house, investments and years of marriage, getting divorced becomes a nightmare. A big part of the nightmare is how you are treated by most family law attorneys

Your life is going to hell and you are just a recurring revenue stream for that attorney to make his Beemer payment, rent on that fancy office and lining his pockets with your hard earned money.

The free half hour consultation is like a first date. They look so good; they have the pedigree, with diplomas up and down the wall. They often paint a better than average picture of the perceived outcome of the ensuing case. Of course they can’t guarantee the outcome, but they do sound encouraging

Continue reading here.

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 Still, I’d love to see other people try this type of hand’s on interactive twitter seminar w/ their biz

• CravingBalance Here’s the link 2 register for 3/18 Teleclass on negotiation w/@vpynchon http://ow.ly/1n1ky #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 it’s amazing how quickly this hour has passed; will be less exhausting to talk than to tweet!!

• CravingBalance @vpynchon this is really worthy work, Victoria. Rigorous and really practical in the moment. #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 we’ll cover diagnostic Q’s, anchoring, framing, concessions & reciprocity & closing all in one hour
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 these are points we’re going to cover in our free seminar (and no that seminar will not be simply selling)

• CravingBalance @vpynchon yes, I’m exhausted. Love 2 c someone else in hotseat. #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 don’t know if anyone is following us, but let’s take questions if anyone’s been following
• 
  
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 Great! I’m going to send you my general materials this afternoon but I want to tailor my presentation to ur needs
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 (I’m already delivering more value than free seminar wld: I’m going to tailor talk to Lisa’s needs)
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 great! I feel optimistic abt helping u increase yr sales; I’d like to prepare by talking to one of yr managers
• CravingBalance @vpynchon I’m ready now. $250 for 1st seminar in March. And let’s schedule the next ones via email. #ngt8
• 
  
• CravingBalance @vpynchon one of the best plays on ever written. Yes. #ngt8 about 6 hours ago from HootSuite

  vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 closing the deal – remember Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross: Always Be Closing

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 in person better than telephone and telephone better than email (email “profoundly anti-social”)
• CravingBalance @pwnsc I do get the process here tho, especially keeping convo ‘over there’ #ngt8

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 80% of communication is body lang/gesture so I wld likely hv “read” ur discomfort & backed off if in person

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 ok, that’s helpful feedback – I’m pressing u too much & that’s bad negotiation technique
• CravingBalance @vpynchon slimy when asking what I charge my clients…doesn’t feel relevant #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 distributive bargain: who gets what part of pie; integrative bargain: satisfy interests by re-framing/adding 2pie
• 
  
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 which feels slimy or manipulative? about 6 hours ago from TweetDec
• CravingBalance @vpynchon Good then. Let’s talk about the content next time we speak. #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 we’re now moving into interest-based rather than simply distributive bargaining; expanding pie to include series

• CravingBalance @vpynchon hold ur horses I’m in learning mode!!! HA #ngt8

• vpynchon (back to diagnostic Q’s) what do you charge YOUR customers 4 YOUR time? @CravingBalance #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 (this is a challenge; more men than women wld want to assert authority) – stereotype but my professional experience
• CravingBalance @vpynchon I respect your rate but we couldn’t poss pay more than $50 #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 I’d be happy 2provide u w/ written materials for ur membership; do u have authority to negotiate price? a
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 this is all framing and anchoring the negotiation
• CravingBalance @vpynchon that’s feels quite right. benefits, let them know rate… #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 (note: now you’re suggesting that u get hired for multiple seminars & u might begin to talk abt price 4 series)
  

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 Often, the workbook approach identifies problems that aren’t covered in 1st seminar

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 benefits: I provide workbooks 2follow up 2assure yr ppl get value from seminar rather than CLE credits

• CravingBalance @vpynchon Your rate sounds really fair, yet I’m just not sure the membership would go for it. #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 so you’re not ASKING for pay; u’re saying, “this is my price” “this is what I get”; now they hv to counter
  

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 my rate’s considerably less than Jim’s – $500/hr; for initial seminar, I do x,y & z + follow up for half that
• CravingBalance @vpynchon what kind of benefits are we talking about? #ngt8

  vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 I’ve found that when org’s pay 4services, they get far more benefit than when they’re being “marketed” w/ free seminar

• CravingBalance @vpynchon You’re probably right about Jim. So where do you stand on this, cuz we’d really love to have you? #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 (just MENTIONING $1,000 hr will influence yr bargaining partner)
  
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 Jim’s great; I assume he makes it up by charging $1,000 hour when he works for pay

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 ANCHOR: aggressive 1st offer that will influence bargaining partner thru-out course of nego
• CravingBalance @vpynchon sure, they loved it. wanted him back. want to see more on the topic.#ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 while waiting 4 Lisa’s answer, head’s up that I’m going to move on toward anchoring and framing
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 did Jim follow up w/ yr group? do role plays? provide work-books? (more diagnostic Q’s)
• CravingBalance @vpynchon oh jim so and so and big name so and so. they’re happy to do it, great exposure.#ngt8

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 Jim & I cover the same territory; did yr group get value fr free seminar (prompt: free sem’s spend time selling)
• CravingBalance @pwnsc oh jim so and so and big name so and so. they’re happy to do it, great exposure.#ngt8

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 (I want to shift the burden of justifying free work back to the party asking for it)
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 that’s interesting; what type of speakers have spoken to your org for free?
• CravingBalance @vpynchon we haven’t ever paid any of our speakers. #ngt8

  vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 I like what you’re doing (establishing your value) but let’s switch roles for a minute

• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 What do you usually pay other people or orgs that provide similar services? (you’re asking for me to work for free)

• CravingBalance @CravingBalance If I rock the house, and I do, that’ll be a big feather in your cap, so what’s it worth? #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 let me role play you and you role play the people who are asking for it free
  
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 now you’re talking about 3rdparties; easier, particularly for women; to talk about others rather than asking for self

• CravingBalance @vpynchon okay seriously…I’d love to…what topics are you interested in hearing…how can I help your women move fwd. powerfully? #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 if they say “we always get it free”; I’d say “interesting” – what are speakers getting out of it?
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 I’d ask open ended Q’s abt what they’ve paid in the past 4 similar services
• CravingBalance @vpynchon Any thing for you! #ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 re bottom line: no one EVER opens with their bottom line
  
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 so practice a little; I ask u to speak to my women’s group for free; how shld u respond?

• vpynchon it’s also usually easier to ask diagnostic Q’s b4 u jump into saying “I don’t do these things for free” @CravingBalance #ngt8
• CravingBalance Great convo re negotiation going on now at #ngt8 I’m in the hot seat w/ @vpynchon vpynchon @CravingBalance if u ask org or person what they usually pay, it puts ball in their court to justify asking 4something free #ngt8

• 

• CravingBalance @vpynchon and when they say “we don’t pay” do I say thank u vry much, or what wd it be worth to you?#ngt8
• vpynchon @CravingBalance #ngt8 also, saying “I don’t do it free” is negative & can stop convo dead in its tracks
• vpynchon it’s also usually easier to ask diagnostic Q’s b4 u jump into saying “I don’t do these things for free”

• CravingBalance Great convo re negotiation going on now at #ngt8 I’m in the hot seat w/ @vpynchon

• vpynchon @CravingBalance if u ask org or person what they usually pay, it puts ball in their court to justify asking 4something free #ngt8
• CravingBalance @pwnsc I think the value to the org is higher, but also good for exposure. #ngt8
• CravingBalance @CravingBalance you’re right. I don’t make it about them, I make it about me. #ngt8

• vpynchon (thinking abt value – your own time or the value to the organization; which is higher price point?) #ngt8

• CravingBalance @vpynchon lately I’ve been getting better and saying I made promise to self not to speak for free.#ngt8
• vpynchon but I’m assuming you’re not following up with Q’s abt organization’s ability 2pay and history of paying for similar services, right? #ngt8
• vpynchon you’re asking what the scope of the assignment is; that’s good b/c it allows u to think abt value of your time #ngt8

• vpynchon it’s difficult 4 all of us 2ask 4 what we deserve; the fear of rejection is powerful #ngt8
  
• CravingBalance @pwnsc No. Mea culpa. I somehow think it’s set in stone. #ngt8
  
• vpynchon (diagnostic Q’s are those that seek needs, preferences, fears, desires of bargaining partner) #ngt8
• CravingBalance @vpynchon I do ask where, when, how, what audience, what they want, etc. but I usually take free as the bottom line and don’t counter #ngt8

• vpynchon b4 u say “yes” do u ask Q’s about the organization? what is ordinarily spends for speakers, teaching, coaching? #ngt8

• CravingBalance @vpynchon sometimes a knee jerk yes … sometimes a grudging yes. #ngt8
  
• vpynchon (note only 7% of negotiators ask diagnostic Q’s when to do so would dramatically improve outcome) #ngt8

  vpynchon that’s common problem #ngt8 – when someone asks you to do something for free what’s your common response? #ngt8
  

• CravingBalance @vpynchon Yep. All the requests for my time for free: speaking, teaching, coaching, etc. #ngt8
• vpynchon I understand you’ve been having a negotiation challenge #ngt8

  vpynchon Welcome to the first twitter negotiation seminar; hi Lisa! @CravingBalance #ngt8

law – I’m interested in my business and you should be too.

Today, at mediate.com, mediation trainer and consultant Richard Benjamin, never one to mince words, says that our failure to partner with our clients, be we mediators or litigators, is killing mediation (and, I’ll add, will eventually kill litigation too). Here’s the core of Benjamin’s article that spoke so strongly to me but it’s worth reading in full here.

One of the Best Mediation Trainers in Town

In addition to being a viable mode of conflict management, mediation serves a greater purpose as an alternative model of professional practice. A traditional professionals’ relationship with a patient or client is typically hierarchal with the lawyer, doctor or therapist is viewed as the repository of technical expertise and the designated problem solver charged with the complete responsibility of fixing, curing, or solving the matter presented. The mediative model suggests an interactive partnership with the professional as a consultant, not the final authority. The new professional borrows from mediative practice in that he or she, while not an expert in other disciplines, must have an integrated perspective and be aware of how all aspects of an issue, even those outside his or her immediate discipline, might impinge or affect good decision making. Thus, as a lawyer, no legal matter can be thought of as merely legal and just a question of money; or as a therapist, or as a therapist, no issue can be viewed as strictly a relationship or communications issue.’ More than merely being interdisciplinary in approach, a professional cannot just refer to other professionals when a matter crops up that is outside their primary focus, but from an integrated view has the duty to anticipate those matters and coordinate their management with practitioners in other disciplines. Simply slicing and dicing the matter presented to fit within professional practice boundaries is no longer sufficient. Systemically, all issues and controversies have legal, business, and personal dimensions that must be managed at the same time.

Must-read tribute to Richard Millen at Lee Jay Berman’s new Eye on Conflict. Lee Jay traces the lineage of mediation in Southern California, with Millen at the top.  Whether you knew Richard or not, he says, if you’re a mediator, you were taught by him.

Indeed.

As Richard always said, “people don’t have legal problems; only lawyers have legal problems; people have people problems with justice issues.”  That kernal of the truth of the matter is the source of the name of this blog – “business solutions to justice issues.”

We will miss you Richard.

Some researchers say that women’s failure to negotiate working conditions, salary or other compensation–along with their hesitancy to seek what they’re worth when they do negotiate–is one of the major reasons for the persistent wage gap for women in all work-related activities.

Celebrate Women’s History Month this March with a free introductory teleclass taught by lawyer/mediator Victoria Pynchon and hosted by Lisa Gates of the dynamite Craving Balance Learning Community. You will learn the difference between competitive bargaining and collaborative interest-based negotiation. You’ll also asses your negotiation challenges and discover your focal point for truing up not only your major challenges, but your everyday negotiation skills.

Prior to the free teleclass, we highly recommend following this link to complete a Negotiation Assessment. Taking the Assessment will help you get the most value out of your time on the call. It will show you where you are now, and give you a clear and personal foundation for identifying your next steps. Taking the Assessment will also help us identify the specific needs of the group and allow us to speak directly to your real life challenges.

Complete information on the month-long online journaling and learning course that follows the free teleclass can be found by following this link.

Class size is limited so register NOW!

When I learned of the theme for this Blawg Review, I have to admit I was less than thrilled–mainly because I’m tired of thinking about women and the law. I’ve given this issue a lot of thought. Although I’ve been blogging about it for years now, my posts have been very infrequent over the last year. Why?  Because it’s downright depressing, that’s why.nylawblog.typepad.com, Sui Generis–a New York law blog, Mar 2010

You should read the whole article.